No, he wasn't there, other than in spirit. But Glistening Dave, thoughtful as ever, traipsed up to the top of Mona Vale headland before he went away, manacled, to the bride's apron strings for a fortnight's holiday in Adelaide, of all places, to capture this Mona Vale pano for use in this place. Really, he was just paranoid that, if he left a vacant space in oceanswims.com, someone else would fill it, and fill it far better than he can manage. Dave should remember the mantra at News Ltd: Never go on holidays!

Mona Vale was a far cry from Portsea, where they have very little beach, but do a marvellous job with what they have, although many swimmers must wait their turn in the bay.

With Glistening Dave away in Adelaide for a fortnight's break from oceanswims.com, it was left to Sevadevi to apply her vision to Mona Vale beach.

"
What's that bloke with the camera doing standing in the water?" ...

... He's waiting to take your photo. This time, at Portsea, we capture our correspondent, James Bennett, good and proper. That's him at left.

James Bennett has a lovely day at Portsea ...

As I stood at the start of the Portsea Swim Classic this year I overheard the following conversation:

“What’s the guy in cossies with the camera doing standing in the water?”

“I dunno but he’s gonna get trampled if he keeps standing there!”

I felt compelled to enlighten these concerned individuals, “That’s Mr Oceanswims” I said by way of explanation for this strange behavior. This was met with blank looks so I offered further clarification, “He’s from NSW and runs a website on ocean swimming”, which obviously should’ve made everything crystal clear.

30 seconds later we were charging out to sea hopefully leaving OSC intact with pics of the start of the race. As I swam towards the first bouy I was reminded of a few things that always seem to be reliable for the Portsea Classic:

1. You will need to dodge moored boats on the way out. I have no idea whether this is within the control of organizers but there always seems to be an obstacle course between the start and the first bouy. This often results in two or three different packs of swimmers developing on the way out then coming together again at the first turn.

2. The first bouy will be like a washing machine. It may be exaggerated by my boofhead age group but it’s probably inevitable when you have a turn of almost 90 degrees approximately 200m from the start. There wasn’t any aggro biffo that I experienced, just lots of 30-something men trying to get through as fast as they could.

3. Immediately after the finish I was reminded of one thing that Portsea does much better than most swims – after race fuel. I was immediately handed a red sports drink, a water, a banana and a fruit yoghurt before I even made it out of the finishing chute.

4. Good spectator positions. Portsea is a great swim to do but also great to watch. The course is set up so that you can basically see the whole race from the pier which also forms the last turn before the sprint for home. The pier is usually busy but I’ve never seen it so crowded that you can’t get a spot.

Portsea is a seal colony just outside the Port Philip Heads state park.

With or without a wettie, ...

... you need to stretch.

The Portsea Classic is one of the “other” big swims on the Victorian calendar – it doesn’t have the massive numbers or profile of Lorne’s Pier to Pub but in some ways that’s nice because you can get a park for your car and a spot on the beach close to the action. The race is generally well organised and this year the sun finally came out after a few years of fairly ordinary weather.

The course is a large dog leg course marked by massive red bouys to guide punters and the relatively flat waters usually mean you can actually see them on the way around. This is another contrast with Lorne which is basically a straight line swim into a surf beach and all I’ve ever seen is the occasional glimpse of the finish if I happen to look up at the right time between the waves.

The main race takes place about an hour after the first wave. The winner of the men’s category this year was Jamie Rhodes who won the Pier to Perignon in 2005 and was dubbed “the mystery man” on the Portsea website after that victory, presumably he is a mystery no more.

For better or worse I didn’t recognise the names of any of the other place getters this year, perhaps there is a changing of the guard in Victorian ocean swimming and/or maybe I’m just getting older . . . .

Overall, another great day at Portsea.